Rosalind Sedacca was selected as a winner of an International Women’s Day Outstanding Service Award! It was presented on March 8th, on the 100th Anniversary of International Women’s Day by The Women’s Information Network (The WIN) which hosted the largest gathering of women in the history of the world to celebrate!

The Award was presented to winners in every U.S. state and in 150 countries. In Miami the celebration took place at Unity on the Bay where Sedacca was honored, according to Paula Fellingham, CEO of The WIN, for her “extraordinary efforts to make a positive difference in the world.”

Sedacca is founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network which provides information, advice, services and valuable resources for parents who are facing, moving through or transitioning after divorce. She is also the author of the internationally acclaimed ebook, How Do I Tell the Kids About the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children – with Love.

According to Sedacca, a Certified Corporate Trainer and Relationship Coach, “Our goal is to help parents make the best decisions on behalf of their children to minimize any emotional and psychological damage before, during and after divorce. Through our weekly newsletter, teleseminars, private and group coaching services, books and other resources we encourage co-parenting, teach communication skills and support parents in every possible way to create the most positive outcome for everyone in the family.”

The mission of The WIN is to strengthen women and families worldwide through a global network of women helping women. To learn more about The WIN, visit www.thewinonline.com

Rosalind Sedacca’s Child-Centered Divorce Network can be accessed at www.childcentereddivorce.com. She can be contacted at rosalind@childcentereddivorce.com.

 

 

 

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT

Thanksgiving, Christmas – most any holiday — can bring up painful memories of happier times, especially if you are divorced and have children. But keep in mind that with the pain comes a choice. You can choose to acknowledge the past for what it was. You can value the good times you might have had together. Then you can choose to move on and let go.

If you don’t, you will likely get stuck tormenting yourself with the “shoulds.”  We should still be a family today. He should be ashamed of what he’s doing to us. She shouldn’t be able to have the kids on Christmas Day. I should be over this by now. It should be easier for me to move on – but it isn’t. You get the idea.

Use this holiday season as a marker for starting a new mindset for yourself. You are creating a future that will be as positive for you as you allow it to be. Close the door to what was so you can open the door to brighter tomorrows – for yourself and your children. This holiday season and the ones to come can be weeks of great celebration for you if you start planting the seeds in your mind today.

Here are some useful tips for creating a positive mindset for the holidays.

Be your own best friend:

Divorce and its related stressors can take its toll on your self-esteem. It’s easy to start falling into cycles of despair, fear, anxiety and depression fueled by messages such as “who’s going to want me now?” or “how can I cope with all this pressure in my life?” This can certainly compound over the holidays, which add another layer of stress to family life. Use this time to celebrate you and starting a new chapter in your life. Look ahead to reinventing yourself in ways you’ve always wanted – and acknowledging yourself for assets you have that can be further explored. Take time to laugh and indulge in some holiday spirit. It’s good medicine for you and the children you love.

Focus on lifting the spirits of others:

Gratitude is a mindset that reminds us of our blessings. Do you have a loving relationship with your children? Do you have your health, a roof over your head, the income to purchase a few holiday gifts? Many people are not so fortunate. Be grateful for your blessings, share a smile or kind gesture with others, volunteer for the less fortunate and you will be rewarded in ways you never expected – physically, emotionally and spiritually!

Integrate – don’t isolate:

Take advantage of this social season to circulate and re-connect with family and friends. Plan some small gatherings with those you care about and accept a few invitations to get out and meet other people. Limit your “pity party” time to an hour or two. Then pick yourself up and get back into life. You’ll be surprised by the support systems available to you. You will also find that you are not alone in the post-divorce emotions and challenges you are experiencing. Be receptive to help and it will come to you.

Initiate New Holiday Traditions:

Remembering holiday traditions of the past can set you into a downward cycle and negatively affect your children, as well. This is the time to develop new ways of celebrating the holidays that you and your children can cherish and enjoy together. Perhaps it’s a special trip, celebrating with new friends and neighbors, attending special holiday events in your community or place of worship. Encourage your co-parent to do the same when the kids are with them, so that they have something to look forward to in each home.

Use this time of the year as the emotional starting point for bringing into focus the “you” you’ve always wanted to be. Visualize the future you desire. Make commitments to positive changes in your thoughts, habits and actions. By doing this, every year to come around holiday time you will be re-energized with positive appreciation rather than brought down by sadness and despair. The choice is yours. Embrace this season as the start of wonderful things to come and you’ll have much to celebrate in your future!

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Rosalind Sedacca, CCT, is founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network and author of the ebook, How Do I Tell the Kids … about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook™ Guide to Preparing Your Children — with Love! For more information, free articles on child-centered divorce and her free ezine, go to: http://www.childcentereddivorce.com.

© Rosalind Sedacca   All rights reserved.

 

Sisters Rosalind Sedacca, CCT and Amy Sherman, LMHC have co-authored a new book, 99 Things Women Wish They Knew Before Dating After 40, 50 & Yes, 60! which is now available in print and digitals formats.

The collaboration of both relationship experts has produced a quick and easy read filled with insights, advice and tips women need to know before dating or entering into a romantic relationship.

The ninety-nine keys provided will empower readers to avoid the most common pitfalls and mistakes of dating after forty – a time when many women feel insecure about the aging process and their appearance. With that in mind, the book was written as a step-by-step guide toward developing healthy self-esteem as well as a sense of personal empowerment – the ideal mind-set for attracting the mutually satisfying relationships that older women still desire and deserve.

The concise bullet point format eases the way for readers to access just the content they are looking for, making 99 Things Women Wish They Knew Before Dating After 40, 50 & Yes, 60! an informative resource on how to date smarter. The material is ideal for women who are:

  • ready to start dating again, but afraid to take the first step
  • tired of watching and waiting as life passes them by
  • needing help moving out of their comfort zone into a new chapter in life
  • dating, but not finding satisfying or meaningful relationships

“More than 54% of North American boomers are single due to divorce, death or personal choice,” notes Sedacca, a Certified Corporate Trainer who has been facilitating relationship seminars and workshops for singles and couples over the past fifteen years. “Mature women are fed up with dating disasters and playing games. They’re tired of repeating old patterns that keep attracting the same bores, brutes or boys. We wrote this book because millions of women over forty are looking for more – and they want it now!”

“This book is fast and easy reading. But don’t be fooled by its size,” says Sherman, a licensed mental health counsellor practicing in Florida. “The fastest growing population is the 55 to 64 age group. As Boomers ourselves, we understand the needs, challenges and insecurities mature women face in finding meaningful relationships. Our range of topics span from the sensible to highly sexual and we’ve honed our messages to deliver insightful awareness and powerful techniques — that really work!”

99 Things Women Wish They Knew Before Dating After 40, 50 & Yes, 60! provides laser focus on the issues and answers women most want to explore including:

  • Releasing Relationship Baggage
  • Preparing to Look & Feel Your Best
  • How to Enter the “Meet” Market
  • Relationship Traps and Pitfalls that Snag
  • Knowing the Warning Signs of Abuse
  • How to Balance Intimacy and Sexuality
  • Signs You’ve Found a “Keeper”

Sedacca is founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network which gives parents valuable resources to help them make the best decisions regarding parenting after a divorce on behalf of their children. She is also the author of How Do I Tell the Kids About the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children – with Love! which is available at www.childcentereddvorce.com.

Sherman is founder of the Baby Boomers Network which provides women with support and vital information for living life to its fullest after age forty. She is also the author of Distress-Free Aging: A Boomers Guide to Creating a Fulfilled & Purposeful Life! which is available at www.babyboomersnetwork.com.

The sisters’ new book can be found at www.99-series.com, www.Amazon.com and ww.barnesandnoble.com. It is also an iPhone App and a digital book available on Sony, Kindle and other ebook readers. Sedacca can be reached at rosalindwrites@gmail.com and Sherman can be reached at amy@bummedoutboomer.com.

 

There are twenty million blended families in the United States alone. That number has doubled over the past ten years.

Some project that blended families will become the norm, or at least a majority, within the next decade. Regardless of the statistics, blended families are a growing reality in our society. They also face challenges that can be overwhelming if not handled with great awareness and sensitivity for all concerned. Whether you’re a step-parent, step-child or step-sibling, you face issues that other families do not encounter.

Here are some suggestions for avoiding problems and tension within your family unit.

· Don’t expect to be the Brady Bunch right from the start. Allow your family members time to adjust to a new reality and new people sharing the same space.

· Discuss family rules and rituals before you make the move into one home. Set agreements and expectations – address questions and upsets – so no one is surprised by the inevitable areas of confusion that are likely to come up once cohabitation begins.

· Agree with your partner not to discipline their children – and vice versa. Kids will never accept that level of parenting from the “new” Mom or Dad. Their biological parent needs to maintain discipline and agreed upon rules and not leave it to you to step in.

· Expect jealousy and insecurity to rear up. Adults can feel threatened by the children of their new partner as easily as children can feel afraid of losing their parent to a new spouse. No one should have to choose between their child and their partner. Spread your love abundantly and communicate responsibly..

· Have family meetings to discuss tensions, insecurities and other adjustment issues. Bringing these challenges into the open, sharing your feelings about them and asking others to be honest about theirs, opens the door to understanding that everyone in the family is making adjustments. No one is alone in feeling unsure about the future – or wrong for feeling anxiety.

· Don’t be a martyr and keep your feelings in. Talk about what you need and expect. Find out what others want, as well. Create a dialogue that addresses issues as they come up – rather than burying emotions and grudges until they explode in toxic behavior.

· Forget the Mary Poppins image and just be who you are. Avoid overcompensating or allowing yourself to be stepped upon due to guilt or the desire to be accepted. You need to win the respect of your partner’s children through the reality of your day-by-day behavior and attitude.

· Step away from issues that are not yours. Let your partner deal with their children when you don’t own the problem.

· Fine-tune your strategies, rules and approaches to conflict on a regular basis. Learn from what worked – and didn’t – and adapt your game plan accordingly. Remember, you’re the adults. Don’t expect the children to take responsibility for correcting situations that need addressing. Seek professional counsel as a support system. Innocent lives are at stake.

· Have a sense of humor. Know which battles are worth fighting – and which to shrug off with a grin.

With these tips in mind you can avoid many of the headaches that come with a blended family and enjoy so many of the rewards that can be found in your expanded family dynamic!

* * *

Rosalind Sedacca, CCT is a relationship seminar facilitator and author of How Do I Tell the Kids … about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children — with Love. For her free articles, blog, coaching,valuable resources on child-centered divorce or to subscribe to her free ezine, go to: http://www.childcentereddivorce.com/.

99 Things Women Wish They Knew Before Dating after 40, 50 & Yes, 60! is about to be launched digitally as part of the pioneering The 99 Series of books. The launch begins with Sony and The Home Shopping Network!

This is great news for everyone who loves to read, learn and grow because the topics available are of great value – especially to women! You can purchase just my new dating book, co-authored with Amy Sherman LMHC, or purchase a gift set of 5 or 10 books to share with others.

The Series encompasses a roster of inspiring, personal and business development books that have ninety-nine tips in each book, all in a pocket size format that contains the best ‘need to know’ information. No more reading through hundreds of pages to get that one paragraph that pertains to your particular issue. The ninety-nine concise bullet points make it so easy to get right to the point you need!

You can buy the 10-Pack Gift Set! This is an incredible option if you’re looking for a great deal on some valuable books in ALL AREAS of Women’s Life! This also makes a wonderful birthday or holiday gift for the special women in your life. Why not surprise your special friends with an email alert that you sent 10 books to her Kindle or Ipad? What a treat!

You can also choose the 5-Pack Gift Set: Love and Money Series for Women!

And if you just want to purchase my book alone, just click here: http://bit.ly/9XYrKb to learn more about 99 Things Women Wish They Knew Before… Dating After 40, 50 & Yes, 60!

Or you can buy any of the incredible books available by the amazing authors in my Series!

—————————————————————————–

No matter what you choose, you can purchase books TODAY on a Sony E-Reader, Amazon Kindle, Ipad, Kobo, Nook or Cybook Opus — or simply upload the pdf to your computer!

This is the FIRST-EVER Book Series to launch on a digital platform — where the future of reading is headed!

The World launch is September 27, 2010!

For those asking when you can buy the hard copy, that will follow the World Digital Launch! Yes, for all of you who don’t own e-readers and want to hold a fresh book in your hands, you won’t have to wait much longer!

To Buy the books now, click here!

Don’t forget to WATCH our launch on The Home Shopping Channel:

Airtimes:

9/4- 4 am, 8 am, 12pm & 5pm

9/5- 7 am & 6 pm

9/6- 4 am & 2 pm

9/19- 5 am

For those in Canada, you can watch it on www.hsn.com

Don’t forget, if you buy a Sony E-Reader from HSN during our launch, you get the 10-Book Bundle for FREEEEEEE!!

So get cozy with a good cup of coffee, one or more of the 99 Series Books, and start learning and enjoying!

If you like my book, I hope you’ll leave a comment on Amazon… you can do that right here… http://amzn.to/9wdgO6.

Many thanks for your support!

Rosalind

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT

All human beings are resistant to change. It’s especially difficult for children. One of the greatest disruptions in a child’s life can be the upheaval caused by divorce. For this reason it is incumbent on you, as a parent, to doing everything possible day by day, month by month, to help your children adjust, assimilate into their new routines and accept the changes in their lives in the most positive possible ways.

To do that, you must be committed to putting your children’s physical, emotional and psychological needs foremost in your mind and heart. In that way, you will make decisions that are child-centered rather than based on your needs for getting back, proving your points or hurting your children’s other parent.

Yes, it’s not always an easy proposition to parent after divorce from this perspective. However, it’s the only option that will allow your children to have a sane childhood, good self-esteem, joy in their lives and a future that includes healthy relationships for themselves. Isn’t that what we all want for our children?

You can help your children adapt to two happy homes if you make that a priority and respect the fact that your kids are attached to their other parent. Don’t force them to break that bond or make them feel guilty for still loving their Dad or Mom, despite your divorce.

Because helping your child feel happy, safe, and loved is such an important goal for every parent, you can make joint parenting (custody is becoming a word of the past in many legal systems) arrangements work out if that is your honest intention.

To help your children feel wanted – little things count a lot!

All children need to know that they are loved and wanted in both homes. To help instill that important sense of belonging, try to avoid the need to pack a suitcase when children move between Mom and Dad’s homes.

It is smart to talk to your children early in the divorce process about starting a new chapter in their family life. Some things are changing – others will not change. It’s all part of the new chapter ahead – and new doesn’t have to mean sad or bad.

Many parents start by taking the kids shopping for some new things so they’ll have their own personal “stash” at both houses. Let each child make some personal selections of bedding, toiletry and clothing items. Little things like new pajamas, underwear, toothbrush, alarm clock, pillow, sunglasses, towels, shampoo, etc. can make a big difference in helping your children feel more at home, welcome and excited about some of the transition process.

A few new toys as well as old familiar ones are also important at this time. Selecting some DVDs or games together that are part of the new home environment will also help with readjustment, giving the kids something to look forward to when they arrive.

If your relationship with your former spouse is on a positive level, the family can get together to divide much of the children’s belongings as a family, letting the kids make some decisions about where certain items will remain or move. Try to have enough clothing changes and other routine possessions in each home, so you can avoid last-minute emergency pickups or misplaced items. Also allow the children to carry a few items back and forth if they choose, such as a favorite toy, jacket or photo.

Ideally each child should have some private space – a place in each home where they can keep their things – be it a closet, drawers, shelves, etc. The goal is to create a sense of “home” when they spend time with either Mom or Dad so they know they are safe, wanted and very much belong in the lives of both parents.

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Rosalind Sedacca, CCT is a relationship seminar facilitator and author of  How Do I Tell the Kids … about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children — with Love! The ebook provides fill-in-the-blank templates for customizing a personal family storybook that guides children through this difficult transition with optimum results. For free articles and other resources on child-centered divorce or to subscribe to her free ezine, go to: www.childcentereddivorce.com.

 © Rosalind Sedacca   All rights reserved.

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT

You’re getting divorced and you’re angry, resentful, hurt, vindictive or any combination of other painful emotions. You want to lash out, to get back at your spouse or boost your own sense of esteem. Hiring the most aggressive litigious divorce lawyer you can find seems like your smartest choice. Your ex is in for a fight!

If you’re a parent who is thinking along those lines, you’re making a choice you may long regret.

If you choose a lawyer who directs you straight into a vicious court battle, the costs to you will be insurmountable – not only in financial outlay, but in emotional turmoil as well. Think long and hard before you move your divorce battle into the legal system. It is likely to take its toll on every member of your family – including your children – in the most destructive and gut-wrenching ways. It happens all the time. But it need not happen to you.

When you give your divorce outcome over to the courts, you are paving the way to unimaginable stress and frustration compounded by a sense of powerlessness that is hard to comprehend until you are in its grips. As you stand by and watch attorneys and judges make decisions about your life and your future you can’t help but feel violated and helpless. The taste of revenge that you were after can easily turn into anxiety and shock when issues get twisted and victors become victims right before your eyes. The consequences can play out for years, and often decades, to come.

Sadly, your children are not protected from the emotional and psychological repercussions. When custody decisions are made by those who are focused more on financial issues than family issues, children’s needs often get pushed aside in favor of other objectives. Relationships, balance and good will are not prime objectives in the battle of divorce, and the scars on your children’s psyches are often overlooked in the legal blood-bath that ensues.

There are other ways. Better ways. And more ways than ever before to create a divorce that respects the rights of every one in the family.

 Before engaging that “killer” attorney, talk to a Collaborative Divorce attorney who specializes in creating peaceful outcomes without going to court. Collaborative Lawyers are trained to use their own special skills along with the aid of financial planners, therapists, mediators and other resources to bring both sides into conversation about win-win outcomes. Children’s needs get high consideration.

 Certified Mediators offer another opportunity to create a fair settlement without litigation at a considerable cost savings. Many mediators are former divorce attorneys who have battled it out in court and know there are saner solutions for all concerned. They care about creating peaceful resolutions.

Learn from the lessons and mistakes of others. If you want to save yourself considerable expense – both emotionally and financially – and if you want your children to thank you when they are grown up for creating a civilized, sensible, harmonious divorce – make the right decisions today. Stay out of court. Stay out of the hands of killer attorneys. Stay in the good graces of your children. Create a Child-Centered Divorce – and reap the rewards for years to come!

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Rosalind Sedacca, CCT is the founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network and author of the new ebook, How Do I Tell the Kids … about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children — with Love! For free articles on child-centered divorce or to subscribe to her free ezine, go to: www.childcentereddivorce.com.

© Rosalind Sedacca   All rights reserved.

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